It's Taken Me A Few Years

JenniferG
Sep 1, 2017
3 min read

First, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update my pages and especially on the start of my Blog Page. As most of you, from an OIDV world know, our minds run in 30 directions all at once and sometimes things get pushed aside due to court hearings, custody hearings, lawyers and many many other things that seem to happen -- Usually, all at once & all of the time!

I also believe it takes quite a while for OIDV Survivors to be able to make sense of the world they were in. It takes us time to get our bearings and it sometimes takes us years, to be able to write or speak about our stories without us having a total breakdown. It's not as simple as someone on the outside might think. It's not easy at all. We get through one day at a time and we rejoice in the smallest steps some days -- but even when we know we've done well, we can usually think of 10 more things that we should have or could have done to make it better.

I escaped my personal OIDV hell on February 18, 2013 -- That was just over four and a half years ago. Perhaps in another upcoming Blog, I will get into all the "good" and the "bad" of it all, but at the moment, I can't help but think that sometimes it doesn't seem that long ago - Yet, some days, it seems about that long. I know that had I not been able to connect with others along the way, that I would have been lost. Heck, there were times, we were all "lost" together in the sea of legalities or endless torment coming from the other side. Without these ladies, that I have met along the way, I know I would not be writing to you now...On some days, they were...My Angels! Before meeting them, I was lost and without a clue of which way to turn, who to trust or what to do next. I felt alone. No one that I knew personally had been to the depths of hell I had came out of -- especially NOT with a spouse who was a Police Officer. With an abusive spouse in Law Enforcement comes a whole new set of challenges. Domestic Violence isn't just Domestic Violence when you're married to a cop. It's not that simple! There's no easy fix. There's no help. There's no one who wants to be involved. YOU ARE LEFT ALL ON YOUR OWN!

I wanted to touch base this evening, while I was working on some other site updates, to let you know that I would try to work more on this Blog and to let others who may stumble across my website that they don't have to be lost. They don't have to wander on their own -- As you see, there are many of us! Not everyone will ever come out of the shadows, because the fear or the danger is greatest for them and their life. Some just take a chance and speak out or help out every now and then...And then there's some of us -- Who take whatever may come, fight for ourselves, for our sisters out there and we grab onto whatever opportunity we can, to shed light on the ever growing problem of Domestic Violence in Law Enforcement Families. Too many times, it's too late! Too many don't get out! They lose their lives at the hands of their Cop, spouse! We shed a tear for each of those, as they hit our OIDV community hard every time. We continue with determination so that no other woman has to go through the hells that we have endured...and so that no more have to die!

In conclusion, I hope my site and Blog might help at least one person -- because then, it would have been worth it! If you have found this site because you are still involved in an OIDV relationship -- GET OUT!!! It doesn't get better - Only worse! You deserve so much more! If I could tell you one thing, it's that for all the hell you have gone through -- YOU cannot imagine the goodness, peace, laughter and joy that awaits on the other side!!!! (None of us believed it either -- until we were forced to make that leap one way or another!) I know that if I can do it, anyone can! Have a good evening & God Bless!

((Check out my slide show of some wonderful recent memories, made with my family! Something that wasn't possible in a world of OIDV!))